Job Ad

My friend who lives out of town saw this ad on craigslist:
We are looking for an SEO Specialist who can help build our internet marketing department. You must have experience with writing and posting press releases, blog commenting, and all other white hat SEO methods.

About Our Company:
We are an Internet marketing and direct marketing company that offers a wide range of products and services including supplements, real estate services, etc... We are a fast growing company with 50 or so employees.


Candidates must meet the following criteria:

- Be a Google Adwords Qualified Individual or willing to pass the needed tests to get certified in the first two weeks.
- Have knowledge of Google Analytics.
- Have knowledge of Website Maintenance (HTML, Javascript, CSS,etc.)
- Have knowledge of Search Engine Optimization.
- Have knowledge of Link Building Techniques.
- Be familiar with Local Internet Marketing, and local directory profile creation and optimization.
- Be able to do Keyword research, and build SEO strategies in a creative way.
- Be able to work with Google Webmaster Tools to get information, analyze it, figure out problems, and find solutions.
- Be able to analyze the on-site and off-site problems of any website and find appropriate solutions.
- Be familiar with Social Media Marketing.
- Be able to analyze webpages in terms of conversion, bring ideas to improve it, and implement and test them.
- Be able to track and gather data, and prepare presentable, easy-to-read reports on the progress of projects.
- Have a degree in Computer Science, Information Systems, Software Engineering, Management Information Systems, Information Technology, or a related field.
- Be a team player, but also capable of owning a project and doing all needed Internet marketing tasks for it A to Z on your own.
- Have good communication skills.
- Have strong time-management skills, and be able to do multitasking.
- Familiarity with Dynamic Web and Content Management Systems is a plus.
- Familiarity with setting up Wordpress blogs is a plus.

Please email your resume to the email address provided. Pay is $15/hour for this position. 40 hours per week.

This was her email to them:
Really $15 an hour, with that list of requirements...

Sounds like a lot of pressure, when you could make the same money
working at the Gap folding shirts. Very sad.

Thanks for putting a shitty value on people whom actually want to have a
career rather than just a job.


I think this is a good single blog topic. Sarcastic responses to stupid job postings. Who wants to do it with me?